Discussion: Follow back or not?

~ Kathy @ Books & Munches

Discussion

Hi Munchworms!

Whether you’re new in the blogosphere or not, we’ve all been at that point of “Do I follow back everyone who starts following me? Or not?” At least, I think we have.

It’s such a common thing to do when someone follows you somewhere to simply hit the “Follow back”-button and be done with it. At some point, though, we start to realize that their feed might not be that interesting or to your tastes and you decide to unfollow them. Or you follow so many accounts already that you simply can’t even be bothered to clean out the accounts you follow.

And when you do, you’re demotivated instantly because why the *** did I follow so many people?! Or blogs?! Or.. anything! [Like, can this also be compared to all the spam mails we get in our mail every week?]

I am here to tell you that it’s OKAY to not follow everyone back. On all platforms, any platform.

Sure, following back is often a guarantee that said person will not unfollow you in the next couple of days but I think that’s pretty much the only benefit?

Think about it. If you start following everyone, you’ll end up having the impossible task of trying to keep up with everything that’s posted. Everything. Your feed will be a mess. Pictures you won’t like, posts you’re not interested in and updates you can simply do without.

This automatically means you won’t see half the things that do interest you. You’ll miss important things. You will probably forget about certain accounts because they fade into the abyss of your followed accounts and… doesn’t that sound sad to you? Because it does to me.

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For me, the answer to that question is fairly simple. I have to like the content – pictures, posts, whatever. If I can’t relate to it or drool over it or… well, leave ridiculously long comments, it isn’t up my alley and I won’t bother following.
The same counts for reviews I simply don’t like the style of. I’m here to read all about the books I’m interested in. If you mention too many spoilers or if you have the tendency of summarizing the entire book, no thanks. I’d rather read it myself, thank you very much!

On top of that I like people who actually reply to comments. Sure, we all have a busy life but if you have a blog, I pretty much assume it’s because you want to talk about the subject you post about. If you can’t be bothered to reply to comments and interact with people, I simply do not bother hitting that follow-button.

So, when do I? It actually takes two steps. If I stumbled upon a post and I liked it, I’ll check out other posts and see if I like those as well. Looks promising? Let’s hit that button!
After a while, I’ll go back to that account and see what else has popped up. Still up my alley? You can stay. Did you disappear or post things I’m not all that interested in? Sorry but bye.

Sure, that may sound harsh but I’d rather invest my time in blogs I love and find new ones than have uninteresting posts clutter my feed. Right?

What makes you hit the follow-button?
And what makes you hit that un-follow button?
What do you do with blogs you’re giving “the benefit of the doubt“?

Yep

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87 thoughts on “Discussion: Follow back or not?”

  1. I usually hit the follow botton if the blog draws me in because like you said, I don’t want my feed to be overloaded with stuff I don’t care about.
    I usually hit unfollow if a person posts every other hour. That’s just too much for me and I get annoyed. But telling them to post less seems rude. So I unfollow and check back in every now and then. (And sometimes I forget about them altogether… Woopsi..)

    Great post! 🙂
    Lisa

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Exactly!
      Haha, I used to post every single day simply because I had that many reviews I wanted to post and didn’t want to stop doing certain memes. I’ve changed my mind about that though; it was becoming way too stressful and took the fun out of blogging. :’) [But, seriously, if you should ever think that about my blog, you are free to let me know! I love getting feedback.]

      Thank you! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is such an interesting discussion and I definitely agree with everything you said! A lot of the times, the blogger seems nice enough and I don’t want to be rude, but I just simply cannot follow everyone back especially if their content isn’t up my alley! I love when I can relate to people or when their posts make me laugh and, like you said, I can leave long comments!

    I’ve also been thinking about doing an unfollow spree lately because I almost follow 200 blogs and I barely manage to keep up with posts as it is because life tends to get in the way, but I also find that a lot of the blogs that I followed when I first started out just aren’t up my alley anymore! It’s gonna be tough to decide who stays and who goes :O

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    1. Thank you!

      Exactly! Following a blog is all about reading about something that interests YOU in the end. Just follow to follow is.. Well, it’s just wrong in a way? I like to think the people who follow me don’t do it to get a follow back but we all know the truth about that one, haha.
      Long comments are the best! ❤

      Oooh, I feel you! I'm glad I did an unfollow spree like that a while ago because I couldn't handle it anymore. It came to a point where I sometimes didn't feel like going through my reader because there was just so. much. to go through..
      It's tough but I'm sure it'll be worth it in the end!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think I’m still in the figuring out when I don’t follow back. I think that in the beginning I kind of felt bad that I didn’t follow back, but you make a good point. If it’s not something that fits in what you love, you only give yourself more stress.

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  5. Thank 👏 you 👏!

    I’ll always follow a book blog, especially if it matches with my tastes. But I’ll unfollow if you’re criticizing authors because they didn’t do what you want him/her to do or criticize bloggers for liking a certain series (omg Shadowhunter and ACOTAR fandoms are scary).

    For me, I feel that following also depends on the platform. I’m mainly on WP, so I don’t spend a lot of time on Blogspot or other platforms. I simply spend more time on WP, so I’ll see your blog more on there.

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    1. Oh, I’d definitely unfollow in that case as well! Fandom-hate is something I dislike with a passion. I hate people pretty much declaring you can NOT like a certain series / book / author because they don’t. That’s.. ridiculous to say the least and it just proves they don’t value other people’s opinion. That’s a big no in my book.

      Oh, that’s true as well! I didn’t even think of that when I was writing this post. I do check my Bloglovin once in a while but.. really not as often as I check my WP Reader? I also tend to simply not really check out blogs on other platforms.. :/ I should do something about that. :’)

      Like

  6. I’m a newbie but I will only follow back if I like the content. I seem to get followers that aren’t bookish at all, so I really have to look at their blogs and see if it’s anything I’m interested in. If not, I don’t follow. I like to keep my feeds (Instagram too!) full of content that makes me happy.

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    1. I honestly love it when non-bookish blogs follow me because it makes me feel like they probably genuinely like my content? Although some of them feel like the “follow me back!”-kind of thing sometimes. :’)

      Like

  7. I’m really fussy about blogs i follow back because I don’t want to miss things on my feed but if there are blogs that follow me and like and comment I do always make sure to go back and browse through their blogs each time even if I don’t follow. It’s not all about following back and as you say, it’s all about interacting.

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    1. Exactly! I do know that I should make a bigger effort of going through the blogs of people who comment on my posts but sometimes I’m drowning in notifications so badly that I just feel like going through those and by the time I’m done with that.. Well.. Then I simply feel like turning off my pc and doing something else, haha. I definitely need to improve on that account!

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  9. okay I had to scroll for a few minutes to get to the comments section… that makes sense! sadly but it does. There are blogs that I just don’t check haha and the more you have the harder to keep on track of what is going on XD on Instagram I think it is easier to keep an eye on everything but still XD

    Great post Kathy! :3

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Haha! Scroll away!

      Exactly! I was at a point where I simply had so many blogs I followed that I couldn’t keep up and noticed half the posts didn’t even interest me in the slightest. And then all the posts I simply didn’t read because I didn’t have the time or energy for it anymore after reading so many.. clutter? I guess?
      Instagram is still a pain in my butt sometimes! Stupid algorithm!

      Thank you!! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Yeah… The more you have the more you read! and you get all lost and I don’t know some posts are so long!!! Haha
      Seriously! It is quite a scroll xD I. Happy following and trying to help other people and comment and all xD but yes some other posts/blogs are not of my liking :/

      This was fun xD all the scrolling and all :3

      Liked by 1 person

    3. They are! There are two blogs I recently unfollowed -bad, bad Kathy- because their posts are seriously so long with so many text that I just.. didn’t even feel like reading it anymore? I try to keep mine to the point and shortish simply because I don’t like reading long posts myself.. :’)
      That’s just life, though! We can’t like everything!

      Hahah; scrolling is pretty much a part of my daily life, yaaaay.

      Liked by 1 person

    4. congratulations! that means that you get a lot of replies and all that XD I just rather do the CTLR+F haha
      Sadly but true, we cannot like everything… I try to keep mine short but not too short XD depending on the book too XD

      *takes notes to see what Kathy likes to make his blog more appealing* XD

      Like

  10. Great Discussion! 🙂 I have been thinking about the topic myself a lot lately and definitely agree with you. You simply cannot follow everyone back, because it really blows up your feed and you might not even be excited to see certain posts. Therefore, I do it like you said: I follow back if I’m interested in the posts and have looked around their blog a bit. Do I like what they post? Are they answering comments? Then I’ll follow back 🙂

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    1. Thank you!
      Exactly! I recently started following someone because her posts looked like sooo much fun and then her next post was “Yay, I’m taking a break!” and I was like.. Okay.. Unfollow.. :/ It’s harsh but I just started following and she doesn’t even knows when she’ll be back, IF she’ll be back. Boo.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Idk, I go through phases lol. In the beginning, I followed back. Then for a while, I only followed blogs that I happened to find and become interested in, or if someone commented, then I’d go to comment on their blog, and I’d follow if I liked it, etc. Now I’m back to following back (if they’re book blogs, but not other types of blogs). But honestly, I have methods for following back just to support the blogs that follow me (those are out of control anyway, so it doesn’t hurt at this point), then I have my actual feed reader where I’m pickier. It works for me! The benefit of the doubt blogs go into the ‘uncategorized’ section of my feed reader where I can keep an eye on them while I’m deciding and find them again easily.

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    1. Haha, I think we all go through those phases at some point but it just differs as to which phase we get stuck in.
      I do wish we could add actual categories for the blogs we follow? I sometimes feel like reading book blogs, and then other blogs I follow are everywhere in between and it’s so frustrating sometimes. But that’s just me. 😛

      Like

  12. Following blogs is such a tricky subject. If you follow too many, blog reading is overwhelming & you can’t the attention their blogs deserve.
    I follow lots of blogs, but I realize that if people are posting content that I don’t like reading, then I should probably unfollow.
    (Basically, if someone only posts book reviews, I probably won’t follow. Though, I’ll probably read their reviews on Goodreads)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. That’s true!
      Unfollowing is sometimes a harsh decision. I sometimes feel guilty for doing so but.. It’s the most honest thing to do in the end.
      That’s one way to see it! I know I post a lot of reviews on my blog, but I try to switch it up with memes and such as much as possible, haha. I do get why you’d then stick to simply checking out someone’s Goodreads-reviews.

      Like

  13. I have been trying to follow everyone who follows me. But I am starting to notice not everyone post things that I like to read about. I am having a hard time keeping up with the blogs I do love to read. I haven’t unfollowed yet because I feel guilty. I can’t keep doing this though because I will end up following wayyyyy to many. I am glad you wrote about this. It has been on my mind lately. :/

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Oooh, girl! You shouldn’t feel so torn up about this! Honestly, I feel like you should only follow blog you genuinely care about and are interested in. Those blogs deserve the love and attention you want to give them. You shouldn’t feel guilty about unfollowing at all; if it isn’t for you, it simply isn’t for you!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. You’re right! I feel like you just gave me a pep talk, haha. I’m going to try to start doing better. Considering I do this not just on my blog but on my other social media accounts.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. This is such a great post, I love it ❤ I basically have the same criteria as you, I like bloggers with a variety of content, bloggers I can relate to and WANT to talk to, but also bloggers I can have a conversation with. I'm not… I'm being a bit harder when it's people who never answers their comments, because that's mostly what I am looking forward to, whenever I blog: talking to other people 🙂
    I try to go through my following feed every once in a while to unfollow bloggers I haven't talked to in a while and that didn't talk to me either, that didn't acknowledge my comments, their content no longer interests me and so on. IT quickly gets impossible to follow everyone otherwise, ahah. Also, I have some blogs in my bookmarks and not in my wordpress feed, blogs I'm interested in checking but a bit less regularly, because… a girl can't do it all hahaha.

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    1. Awh, thank you Marie! ❤

      True! Talking to people and actually feeling like you're investing your time in a blog that's WORTH your time is so important. Imagine you having just posted this long comment [YAY YOU FOR THAT] and I simply go *like*, "Thanks for commenting!" and.. that's it? I'd be dumbstruck if that'd happen to me. [And it has, by the way, haha. I don't think I ever unfollowed someone that quickly..]

      Yup, I totally feel you! I always like the post I actually liked reading so when I start going over the blogs I follow, I easily see whether I'm liking their latest posts or not. I never bookmark blogs though.. Maybe I should start doing that as well.. Hm.. Something to think about..

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Hahahaha, I get the feeling. I’m already really happy when people acknowledge my comment – I mean, that’s… for me, what you SHOULD do all the time -, but when I poured my heart out and just get a little something, I’m… well, always a bit sad, hahaha.

      I always forget to go on blog lovin’ … well, it’s not that I forget, it’s just that I don’t really like how it is overall – I much prefer going on the blog directly, so I have about 40 blogs in my bookmarks as well, blogs that are on blogspot for instance or that I can’t have in my reader. Makes blog-hopping, leaving a comment once in a while and supporting them really easy 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Yup! I guess it makes sense you feel sad at those moments. In the end we invest a lot of time in reading people’s post and trying to come up with a fun, original comment instead of a “Nice post!”-kind of thing.. Acknowledgement is everything!

      I always forget about Bloglovin; always.. BUT. I found something! That you might be interested in as well! Maybe. I just discovered it today through another blog. Feedly. You should look it up. It takes some time to add all the blogs your following but you can divide them into categories and such. Don’t think it matters what platform they’re on – but I’ve only added the WordPress-blogs I’m following so far. Maybe it’ll help you out as well? I’m going to look into it further later this week and see if it actually does everything I need it to do though so I’m not sure yet myself. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

    4. I agree, it’s everything and… it’s what makes me the happiest whenever I blog ❤
      Oh that's VERY interesting, thank you for sharing this with me! I'll have to check it out… or maybe wait 'til you figure it all out and have you explain everything to me 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Same here… I pretty much lurk around on a blog for a while read bits and bobs and then follow if i like what i see. For me “follow” is more like a way of me remembering to keep an eye on that blog, because i’m interested in what’s written there.
    If they follow back, sweet, but that’s not the primary aim. I perfectly understand if someone is not interested in books and bookish stuff (well, it’s hard, but i do try an understand, haha), so not following back should not be a personal offence i think.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. I understand!
      And getting a follow back definitely shouldn’t be the primary aim. The whole point of following blogs is that those blogs actually interest you and you like their content. If you like each other’s blogs enough to follow back, awesome! If not, well, so be it?

      Like

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    1. I’ve only lately started looking for blogs that aren’t books, to be honest. I was so focused on book blogs that it didn’t even occur to me to look for others, ha! Now I’m also trying to find interesting food blogs. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  18. There are certain blogs that I will not follow under any circumstances. I won’t follow lifestyle blogs, I won’t follow review blogs or blogs that only do memes. I like blogs that have a variety of bookish content and content in general. At first, I followed every blogger that followed me and then realized how big of a mistake that was. There’s a blog right now that I’ve actually been following for a while that I’m giving the benefit of the doubt. I’m also extremely picky about the blogs that I follow back. Another thing too, is that I feel like some bloggers have this unrealistic expectation that you’re going to follow them back because they followed you.

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    1. Lifestyle blogs really are not my thing either. It’s something I simply am not interested in at all.. When it comes to bookish blogs, it honestly depends on the diversity of their posts. I love blogs who do memes ànd reviews and sometimes squeeze in something else as well. Or bookish blogs with fun discussion topics that are well thought-out!

      I suddenly think that it would be awesome if we could sort the blogs we follow on WordPress into different categories? Favorites, “regulars”, the ones we doubt about. I don’t know. Sounds like something that’d come in handy to me. Sorting by genre, by example!

      I get you on the unrealistic expectation. I really don’t like when they do that. Or when they reply to your comments or comment saying “be sure to check out my blog as well!” and “don’t forget to follow!” I’ll do that in my own time if I want to, thank you very much..

      Liked by 1 person

  19. This might be weird but i usually read the entire blog before i follow back. If i like the blog weather i get a follow or not it doesn’t matter i simply enjoy good content. I am trying to make my blog into one that would be enjouable to read so i get this.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Definitely not weird! It’s simply a matter of making sure you like their content, after all. And in the meantime, you also discover the things they post about, memes they join in and what they’re like as a person. All important things to know if you want to follow a blog. 🙂

      Like

  20. I agree. When somebody starts following me, I’ll check out their page first and if I like it, I’ll follow back and if I don’t like it, then I won’t. Why should I feel compelled to follow back? Gaining followers is often potrayed as a kind of competition and a high number suddenly is a symbol of value – but I think it’s overrated. I blog about the things I like. You like it, too? – Awesome. You don’t like it? – Fine with me. It’s just a hobby and I just want to have some fun, both as a writer and a reader. No pressure, please. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Exactly! I really think some people’s attitude towards social media with the follow/follow back AND the follow/unfollow is copied to blogs as well and that’s such a pity.
      We all started our blogs because we wanted a place to share the things we love; focusing on numbers is just.. Ugh. Sure, we can focus on it a bit but that’s so not the entire reason for blogging? It has to be fun; no pressure, like you said.

      Like

    1. Yup, definitely! I sometimes follow blogs that JUST started out because they look promising and then end up discovering they only posted twice or thrice and gave up on it already. I’m always pretty quick to unfollow those.

      Like

  23. Most of the time if someone follows me I will go to their blog and scroll through some of their posts to see if it interests me. If it does I follow them back if not then I don’t bother following them back. Sometimes though I have been known to follow them without checking. Every once in a while I will start going through people I follow whether that be on the blog or other social media and start unfollowing people who haven’t posted in forever and never mentioned they were taking a break and I also find people that I followed and I’m like why did I ever follow them their content isn’t for me and then I will unfollow them.

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    1. Same! Although sometimes there are those bloggers that share my taste in books, but I simply don’t like the way they.. write? I guess? And that puts me off as well. It’s a curious thing, finding other blogs you’re really passionate about, haha.

      I try to check out the people that follow me, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy and by the time I do, I don’t even know where to start anymore.. I’ve been working on it, though! 😀 Also, sometimes their profile doesn’t even link to their blog and that’s.. well.. a pity since I sometimes can’t figure out what their blog’s called, haha.

      Yup! People going on breaks without warning are meh.. Same with the content-thing. Sometimes I start following a blog because of one or two amazing reviews and then notice that those books were like the exception on their usual genres, haha.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh yeah I have clicked on some people who have followed me but then it pops up saying this page isn’t found. I’m like really they just followed me.

      I understand people need breaks heck I’ve had to take some myself so if it’s only been a few weeks I usually wait to unfollow but if it been like 3 months or more that’s when I start unfollowing.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. That’s what I mean! And then you probably never find out whether they have their own blog somewhere else or not..

      Yup! True! When I notice people taking breaks I just keep an eye out on how long their break lasts without them mentioning anything about it. [I do check their Twitter as well to be sure they didn’t just announce it there since that’s something they tend to do as well.]

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Great Post, Kathy! I think this is a great discussion! To be honest, I follow everyone back unless they are obvious spammers. I like to show the LOVE back to everyone but you know me I am overly bubbly. LOL. You make fantastic points, Kathy!😁 What I do is I don’t really use the reader section and I don’t recieve email notifications for anybody’s posts or anything WordPress related. I receive notifications on my phone and tablet. I will comment and like people back when they do and I will go to my faves blogs and check them out so every often. If I see someone who catches my attention in the comments I will check them out as well. I will go to the reader once in a blue moon as well. I guess I am weird. LOL.😂 Great post though, Ms.Munchies

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Haha, you simply are the most bubbliest person I know! And you’re EVERYWHERE. There are days when I see you comment on pretty much every post I read and it’s.. well.. pretty funny to notice really, haha.
      I don’t receive any mails either. I do check my reader every day to read the posts of the blogs I follow but I really don’t want to follow all of them. Some people’s content simply doesn’t interest me all that much. It’s a shame, but it’s the truth.

      Thank you, love!

      Like

  25. Nice post, Kathy! I follow most of the book bloggers who follow me! I haven’t checked how many I’m following must be around 300 I’m sure. As a new blogger I was hitting follow back to all who followed me. But recently I’ve started not to follow back new blogger, if i don’t like their content. I haven’t unfollowed anyone till now, even though i don’t read their post. I think I should start doing it.
    I also don’t like to read book summaries as review, i usually scroll down to real thing they felt about book, what they liked and what didn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. That’s definitely a lot! At least for me it is, but I know of some people for whom that’s a “normal” number of blogs to follow, haha.
      I think a clean-up really can’t hurt. When doing mine, I simply kept in mind that I’d now have more chance of reading and commenting on the posts I actually care about.

      Yes! I hate it when people pretty much summarize the entire book in their reviews. I always copy/paste the Goodreads-blurb but that’s it.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. I’m going to ask the question on my blog later this month because I recently heard someone say they follow 24 blogs themselves (having 500 followers) and it’s a lot of work to comment.. I totally agreed but I follow 431 blogs so that’s quite another number even. I never even thought about it.. I scroll and I click on what piques my interest (I don’t read all and every post) and I like (pretty much same as on Facebook, I never comment on Facebook as I’m the perfect lurker) but it seems I’m taking on too much ;-). I used to follow everyone back at first, being all grateful, and then I didn’t follow back and now I’m following back more again because they’re often newbie blogs and they deserve someone following them. I just can’t say no :-(. It’s easier to not follow back on Twitter. A LOT are authors or fantasy readers so I can’t find any book recs there :-). Great post Kathy!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. It definitely is a lot of work to comment though! I follow.. 66 blogs? At least on WordPress; I should check my BlogLovin more, honestly..
      I try to read every post but once in a while I simply go on the blog and see how many of their latest posts I actually LIKED. If I didn’t, it must be because I don’t really like their content anymore and then I consider unfollowing them. I’d rather invest my time in the blogs I do love and discovering new blogs.

      When it’s newbie blogs, I’m starting to save their links to check them out a month later. There are SO MANY people who start a blog and then just immediately.. forget about it? It’s a pity, really..

      Haha, I know what you mean about Twitter. I also noticed that if I don’t tweet anything, I gain more followers than when I do? So people actually like me more when I shut up? Or something? It’s funny. 😛

      Thank you, Inge!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. When I started blogging, I was so excited people started following my wee blog that yes, I automatically followed everyone back. Except those suspicious looking account names, obviously. But after a few months, I had a bit of a cleaning up session. And now, like you, I check out the blog first. And if after a while, I find the content doesn’t suit me, I stop following.

    I honestly don’t have the time to keep up with everything. I find that most of the time I interact with the same people anyway. It makes me wonder why someone follows a blog when they never talk to you.

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    Reply

    1. Agreed! It’s like we have to grow when it comes to (un)following as well as blogging in general. At first I didn’t even feel comfortable unfollowing a blog because “what if they know it was me who disappeared from they followers?!” Now, I don’t care so much anymore.. I’d stick around if I wanted to, but I don’t, so why should I.

      True! I notice myself that I keep going to the same circle of bloggers. I like that, but on the other hand I sometimes feel it’s hard to meet other bloggers and discover new blogs?
      I do get why people would do that though. There are always the kind of people who are too shy to comment or talk or are simply a bit too intrigued by everything that they’d rather read and never comment. [Someone told me once, haha.] But it is a pity since we all love interacting with our followers and we really don’t bite.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Kathy, I wholeheartedly agree with you! In the beginning, I use to follow everyone as I thought it was only fair. But after my feed turned into this monster of a thing. I made that decision to cut out people who weren’t my cup of tea. Thanks for writing about this, it’s nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Oh, yay!
      I felt like this is a topic people don’t really talk about a lot? Not out in the open at least; and I felt like it should be said. There will probably more people like us out there who think it but don’t really want to say it [or even admit it?]

      You’re welcome! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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