Discussion: Authors being accused

Discussion

Hi Munchworms!

Twitter has been blowing up about certain authors being accused of harassment. I couldn’t let this pass by without saying my piece about it. So here it goes. 

I’ve never made a big secret out of it, I’m quite open about it and I certainly do not mind stating it on my blog. It is my safe space after all so, prepare yourselves if you’re easily triggered by the subject of harassment or rape.

Also, sorry to the people I know in real life who didn’t know this before today. This might come as a shock to some of you but don’t forget that I’m still me. Do not treat me differently all of a sudden. I’m not a porcelain doll ready to break whenever the subject comes up.

I’ve been raped. When I was fifteen, I was raped by a guy four years older than I was. I also had a childhood filled with mental abuse. Both those things have had a huge influence on my life, on every aspect of it.
Right before I was raped, I finally found my own voice and the courage to speak up for myself. That quickly vanished for a while after that event although I didn’t really let it show. I just let everything pass me by. I was numb for years before I realized that it wasn’t the way I wanted to live my life. That I had to be more open about it, find the courage to talk about it and start letting it go in some small way.

I will never let it go entirely. It is, after all, a part of me, of who I am. I’m not ashamed of it; nobody should be. It is not your fault something like that happened to you. People might say you shouldn’t dress a certain way, behave a certain way or even go certain places if you want to avoid those things happening to you. In the end, though, they are wrong. We shouldn’t have to hide ourselves in fear of how others will treat us. There should be respect, everywhere, towards every single person out there.

Hearing about authors being accused of harassment definitely hurts me. I wish the world wasn’t like this and people would just… not do things like that but I guess that’s not possible. There will always be evil in this world and that’s a form of it as well. We can only try so hard to ban it from our lives.
I don’t mean to say we should turn a blind eye to it. Not at all. On the contrary. We should face it head on, try to find ways to make people see it’s wrong.

For me, it also means I don’t want to support people like that in any way. I don’t want to own anything of those people. I don’t want that in my life, in my home. That’s why I decided to look up the authors who’re being accused of harassment and unhaul the books I own that are written by them.
I cannot, will not support someone who has harassed anyone, in whatever way. It goes against everything I believe in and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I just can’t let it slide by and ignore it.
The only thing I’m still trying to make my mind up about is whether or not I should mention the reason why to whoever wants to take those books off my hands?

If you’re a victim of harassment, rape, abuse… Do not let it beat you down. Try talking about it. Try. I know it is hard, especially the first couple of times. It’ll never be easy, but it’ll definitely get a bit easier. Talking about it might even encourage others to start talking about it as well.
Feel free to contact me if you have the need to talk. My door’s wide open.

Do not be ashamed. You did nothing wrong. The other person did.

Yep

 twitter-2-64x64downloadSocial-Networks-Instagram-iconif_goodreads_287723Facebook-icon

63 thoughts on “Discussion: Authors being accused

  1. This is such a powerful discussion.

    It disgusts me that so many authors, and so many popular authors, are on that list. I don’t happen to have any of their books, nor have I read any of them, but now I know to look out for them.

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us, and I am so, so sorry you had to go through that. I also admire you so much and I think you’re incredibly strong.
    I feel like sometimes we underestimate the power speaking up about this has. It might comfort people who have gone through similar circumstances, it makes them value themselves a little more, it might even encourage them to finally speak up and admit what happened to them. Maybe it makes everything feel a little better for a while because for the first time someone else understands what it feels like to have gone through that.

    I didn’t know I needed this right now, thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You have no idea how much your comment means to me.

      I did have five books of the accused authors. They’re all gone now. It feels good to get rid of them, to be honest.

      Thank you so much. I know it is a very hard topic to talk about in general, let alone for the victims themselves to talk about and face. But once the ball starts rolling, it’s easier to reach more people and maybe help them in a very tiny way because of it.
      Exactly! It’s so often that people who’ve been through something like harassment or rape or anything that even compares to it in the smallest way, don’t realize that they’re not the only ones. There are others out there who’ve gone though the same and who know exactly how it feels like. We can only do so much to try and help them see it’s not wrong to speak up and share their story; it actually helps to speak up and talk about it.

      Thank YOU.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I really admire for how brave you are to write this, honestly. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to experience something that horrible then be forced to come to terms with yourself, but you did something wonderful and amazing by speaking up! So, so proud of you to see you using your voice for good. Again, you’re immensely brave 💛

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Thanks for sharing your story. I agree it’s past time to hold people accountable. It’s So sad to hear these accusations about people you want to admire, but the truth matters. Abusers need to be exposed.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for caring! 🙂
      I hope more people know this or maybe this helps them realize that it’s not their fault. It’s a hard thing to accept since it’s so much easier to blame yourself when it comes to situations like these..

      Like

    2. You are so very welcome!
      Exactly, it is way easier to blame yourself and just not talk about it to forget it. But that just doesn’t help. I really think your post will help a lot of people who reads is.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I just want to say how strong you are and how courageous to share this to us. Thank you for being so so AWEsome! Even if one person who suffered the same can read this I know you would have helped in some way through your encouraging words. Thank you for sharing ♥️

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Thank you for sharing your story, Kathy. It never easy to share something painful, but the strength you shown with telling it will surely help someone else out there that may be struggling. Support should be given to the victims and not the authors and those in the publishing world that did wrong. So far, none of the authors named were books that I had, but if they were, I would certainly be unhauling. Thank you so much for sharing your story, again, Kathy, and know I always support you. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank YOU for caring. 🙂

      Exactly. I’ve unhauled five of my books as soon as I got home yesterday. As a victim, I don’t want to support it in any way, not even the tiniest one and simply having those books on my shelves already made me feel guilty and mad at the same time.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. The victim should never be blamed. Like you said, too many victims feel the weight of what has happened to them as guilt or shame. There is nothing to feel ashamed for. The guilt and shame should firmly lay at the feet of the perpetrator.

    I applaud you for standing up for all the victims out there. My best friend was raped by her boyfriend as a teenager and because he was her boyfriend no one, including her parents and teachers (they went to the same school), took it seriously. He never faced any consequences, but it had a profound effect on her. All I could do was be there for her. I am so proud of her for being the strong woman she is today.

    And I am proud of you for telling your story. xx

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Exactly. It’s the perpetrator doing something that’s wrong in every way. Blaming the victim when that person is already so down and broken is.. so uncalled for..

      Thank you.
      Oh Jesus, that’s horrible. It’s not because someone has a certain “place” in someone’s life that it’s suddenly okay or that it isn’t even “possible” for something like that to happen. Why is human kind so naive and blind sometimes.. Or they simply ignore it because they don’t know how to cope. As if we, as victims, do?!
      You should definitely be proud of her; I am! Ending up a strong person after going through something like that is admirable in every way and she should definitely know that, hear that.

      Thank you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh Kathy, I’m holding tears right now. I am so sorry for you. I have to say I skimmed the text shortly before reading, so I totally missed your warning before – the theme of rape and abuse are very sensitive to me. I’m going through therapy right now to help me get over my own trauma, and I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you.

    Thanks for writing this, I’m looking up articles etc to stop my support for those harassers. It’s shameful and hurtful to know that for so many years I might have been supporting someone like that. But we can make a change now.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ooh, so sorry that you didn’t see my warning! I’m going to keep in mind to make it more of an eye-catcher in the future so people can’t miss it even if they skim.

      It’s been ten years so I’m doing really fine by now. Sure, it’s still hard at times and being confronted with it will never be easy but I’m okay. I really hope therapy is helping you a lot and you’ll get back to being happy as well, girl!

      You’re welcome.
      Exactly what I was thinking. I immediately got rid of their books when I got home. I really don’t want to support people like that in any way.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. It’s quite fine! It’s no trigger for me or anything, I just got upset for you. I’m glad you’re doing fine, but yeah, difficult times come from time to time… my memories of the events are finally not so clear anymore so I don’t have to revisit it in my dreams anymore. Great progress!

      Yess, let’s purge our shelves from those garbage people!

      Liked by 1 person

    3. That’s good. 🙂
      And I’m glad to hear you don’t have to dream about it anymore! That definitely helps a lot. I remember back when I relived everything every night for months on end.. It nearly destroyed me but I ended up being that much stronger. Hope you will too. 🙂

      Exactly!

      Like

  8. Aw, I’m so sorry for what you went through that’s absolutely awful, and I’m so glad you’re in a better place now. ❤️ I didn’t even know this was happening until someone in my Teen Advisory group mentioned it, and wow, it was so weird. I really don’t have any attachment to any of the authors accused (I own the Maze Runner trilogy, but it’s nit my favorite, so I’ll essily unhaul it) and I’m not going to be supporting them when there are better authors out there.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this and being so open about what happened to you, I am so, so admirative of you for that. Part of me still can’t believe these revelations, I am just so astonished AND SO MAD. My bookshelves and TBRs will go through some deep cleaning very soon.
    Thank you for writing this, again. I love you and you deserve all the best xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank YOU for caring about my story.

      I’m honestly still shocked myself and I was so mad. I seriously got rid of those books as soon as I got home. After everything that happened, I simply don’t like having anything in my home that shows I might support those people in the tiniest ways.

      Thank you, Marie! ❤ All the love to you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. ❤ I'm sorry you had to go through that.

    For me the worst part was that after it happened to me, i did talk about it (like i heard all around me, "you need to say something") and was promptly ignored. So this topic is still kind of a thorn in my side and i will never pass up an opportunity to talk about it (the topic, not myself) to anyone who would listen.

    I don't know if you did therapy or not, but for me it helped a lot. Took a year, and i shouldn't have waited 15 years to go, but i feel way better about most things in general.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Norrie. ❤

      That is even worse.. Being encouraged to talk about it and then notice people simply throwing it aside as if it's nothing.. That really has to hurt so much.. Let alone the impact it has on your self-worth when you're already so down and broken..

      I haven't but, honestly, I've been in a lot of dark places during that time. I'm not anymore. It doesn't weigh me down; when I feel like talking about it, my boyfriend is there for me and others are as well. Honestly, I think that's all the therapy I could possibly need because I've been feeling better the last two years than I ever have. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m sorry you have gone through that but I applaud you for talking about it and sharing it with others who might have gone through something similar. I haven’t heard of most of these authors and I don’t think I have any books by the ones I have heard of. However I do need to go through my TBR on Goodreads because I’m sure I have some books on there by a couple of these authors and I don’t want to support them after hearing this either.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Misty.

      I knew immediately that I own books by two of those authors so I decided then and there that they’d have to go. Also cleaned out my Goodreads-shelves. I’m even considering making a shelf for authors I definitely do NOT want to support in any way possible..

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I’ve considered that as well but think I might just add a message on top saying I read and wrote that review before I knew about the accusations. I’m keeping the reviews, but stating that I do not support the author anymore in any way. It’s one more way to show people what’s going on and let them know if they didn’t yet..

      Liked by 1 person

  12. So sorry to hear about what happened to you and it’s really great that you didn’t let it control your life. I don’t understand what kind of mindset people are having when they throw all the blames on the one who has suffered and turn blind eye to monsters. Why they don’t understand this only is encouraging evils and nothing good is happening by blaming sufferers. I so agree with your thoughts in this post. Keep fighting and never stop being strong.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you!

      It honestly baffles me that people are so quick to judge the victim instead of looking at the one who DID the wrong thing. I hope the world will change on that front eventually but I think it’ll be a long, long while before that ever happens.. Until then we can only try our hardest to support each other as much as we can.

      Thank you! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m so sorry you’ve been through that .. However, I’m proud of you to speak up and not being ashamed of it ! Even more that being numb was not what you wanted and decided to go for a more positive life.

    To be honest, I was lost onto what was happening for a while – as it got out when I was gaming and saw the boom but not what had caused it .. Im quite lucky in the means that I mostly read in french, so I don’t know most of them – but for Jay … and, i’m not quite sure what I wanna do yet, as I do have 13 reasons why on my shelf 😐

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It was difficult at the time but I’m still proud of myself for doing that. I know a lot of people struggle to find a better way to live their lives after they’ve gone to things like that.

      Honestly, I was lost at first as well but I just needed to know who and what. I have the Maze Runner books and 13 Reasons Why and they’re going..

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I’m sure it was .. you took the right decision!

      yeah, with what you’ve been through – I can see the importance. I think I haven’t realized quite yet, as it was late at night for me when I finally saw what was going on so it hasn’t really hitted me

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I applaud your bravery in speaking about this and completely understand your reasons for not wanting those titles in your life. I’m appalled at the statements albeit not directly affected so far as I don’t own any of the authors’ works but it breaks my heart hearing young people blaming themselves for supporting that author or promoting and being a fan of the series’s, it’s not on the fans, they weren’t complicit in this abuse of power & position and I hope each person affected directly and indirectly can find a way to heal. I think the industry, like all factions of society, has a chance here to put a better system in place for mentoring etc that makes it easier to call out such practices and makes it clear those that wish to use their influence for their own desires aren’t given the platform to do so.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you.

      I feel like it’s hard enough as it is to get certain statements across when it concerns harassment / rape / … so whenever I feel like I can make one in even the tiniest way possible, I just want to commit to that. Getting rid of certain books is just a small way of doing exactly that. Speaking out is a bit bigger way but still necessary.
      It’s everyone’s own choice whether or not they take those steps as well; I respect them without doing so as well. I personally just don’t want anything that has to do with those people in my home.

      There definitely has to be a way to put a better system in place. There has to be a way to make it even the littlest bit easier for people to speak out when it happened to them. It’s such a hard thing to do as it is; having a safe way to speak up would already be a huge step in the right direction. I feel like that step should’ve been taken ages ago though.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It really is appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.