Twitter has been blowing up about certain authors being accused of harassment. I couldn’t let this pass by without saying my piece about it. So here it goes.
I’ve never made a big secret out of it, I’m quite open about it and I certainly do not mind stating it on my blog. It is my safe space after all so, prepare yourselves if you’re easily triggered by the subject of harassment or rape.
Also, sorry to the people I know in real life who didn’t know this before today. This might come as a shock to some of you but don’t forget that I’m still me. Do not treat me differently all of a sudden. I’m not a porcelain doll ready to break whenever the subject comes up.
I’ve been raped. When I was fifteen, I was raped by a guy four years older than I was. I also had a childhood filled with mental abuse. Both those things have had a huge influence on my life, on every aspect of it.
Right before I was raped, I finally found my own voice and the courage to speak up for myself. That quickly vanished for a while after that event although I didn’t really let it show. I just let everything pass me by. I was numb for years before I realized that it wasn’t the way I wanted to live my life. That I had to be more open about it, find the courage to talk about it and start letting it go in some small way.
I will never let it go entirely. It is, after all, a part of me, of who I am. I’m not ashamed of it; nobody should be. It is not your fault something like that happened to you. People might say you shouldn’t dress a certain way, behave a certain way or even go certain places if you want to avoid those things happening to you. In the end, though, they are wrong. We shouldn’t have to hide ourselves in fear of how others will treat us. There should be respect, everywhere, towards every single person out there.
Hearing about authors being accused of harassment definitely hurts me. I wish the world wasn’t like this and people would just… not do things like that but I guess that’s not possible. There will always be evil in this world and that’s a form of it as well. We can only try so hard to ban it from our lives.
I don’t mean to say we should turn a blind eye to it. Not at all. On the contrary. We should face it head on, try to find ways to make people see it’s wrong.
For me, it also means I don’t want to support people like that in any way. I don’t want to own anything of those people. I don’t want that in my life, in my home. That’s why I decided to look up the authors who’re being accused of harassment and unhaul the books I own that are written by them.
I cannot, will not support someone who has harassed anyone, in whatever way. It goes against everything I believe in and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I just can’t let it slide by and ignore it.
The only thing I’m still trying to make my mind up about is whether or not I should mention the reason why to whoever wants to take those books off my hands?
If you’re a victim of harassment, rape, abuse… Do not let it beat you down. Try talking about it. Try. I know it is hard, especially the first couple of times. It’ll never be easy, but it’ll definitely get a bit easier. Talking about it might even encourage others to start talking about it as well.
Feel free to contact me if you have the need to talk. My door’s wide open.
Do not be ashamed. You did nothing wrong. The other person did.